The Urban Legend of Me Time

So after being sick since Monday and busy since last Monday (before Audrey's birthday) I've been a total wreck on trying to work out and eat right. How can I do myself right when I can't keep my head on straight?

So tonight, I took a nice long bubble bath, listened to music this time and not an Eddie Izzard stand up, and read a magazine article. Yes, an actual magazine article and not just a paragraph, the whole darn thing.

The last few months have been so crazy, I never get to read. There's times that it takes me a few hours to write an email because I have to keep saving it and come back to it after changings, feedings, homework-helping, cooking, and what nots.

Finally, some me time!

Of course to accomplish such a task as Me Time for myself, I had to make sure Hayley was down for a nap, Bill had his alarm set, and Audrey was set up to be kept busy from knocking on the bathroom door every 2 minutes.

I was in heaven. Of course I chose the WRONG article to read.

It was about how as a mother, we need 'Me Time' and we can't forget ourselves. We can let the kids wait at the breakfast table screaming about their cereal as long as we get that first cup of coffee poured in the morning and other examples of how to not be a selfish mother.

I'm all for that, but when it's the first time in a long time to get true Me Time (You know, where you are not out on errands or at a doctors appointment) and I'm reading an article about what mistakes I'm making and why I never have Me Time. It was kind of a smack in the face.

I got out of the tub not feeling rejuvinated. I got out of the tub feeling like all I do is complain.

I'm sure if Bill is reading this, he's nodding about the complaining part.

I got out of the tub feeling like the reason why I never get Me Time is because I don't demand it. I don't want to sound bitchy or unappreciated, or naggy. Doesn't matter though, I'll always sound naggy, sorry Bill and Audrey and Hayley.

I don't want to have to demand it, I don't want to schedule it. I have to schedule everything else, I don't want to add another thing. Bill's work schedule, Audrey's school schedule, Hayley's eating and sleeping schedule, doctors appointments, school activity appointments, due dates for bill's to be paid, daily poopy diaper tallys....oh good golly, the list goes on and on and on.

Much like what I'm writing.

Where was I?

Right, I was getting out of the tub and feeling like crap. You aren't supposed to feel like crap after such a relaxing time. Then it hit me. I might not want to schedule Me Time and I may want to have it served to me on a silver platter, napkin all tucked in my lap, salad fork on the correct side and a glass of fancy wine.....but that's not what life gives you.

You can't expect to be given such a simple thing as a moment to yourself, you are now a parent. You have to steal those moments, much like how you have to steal those good candy bars from the trick-or-treat bag. "Making sure they are safe," is what we tell them. You have to be selfish sometimes and grab what you can.

So, to help myself get these times to myself, I am going to schedule them in. Even if I have to put it on Audrey's chore chart or add it to a Honey-Do-List for Bill, I am going to get those moments to myself. Give Mommy 10 minutes to herself. Give Tracy a moment of silence each night while she goes for a peacefull walk to no where.

We'll see if it happens. We'll see if I follow through. I'm sure I can do it.

Let's see if they'll let me.

Ah, baby crying. I guess Blog time won't be a Me Time.