Older blog: ?? Facebook friends ??

There are 6 kinds of facebook, myspace, twitter, etc. friends.

1. Family
The "oh I have to add them or else I'll get crap from _____ (ie. Dad, Mom, sibling, grandparent, cousin, etc.) friend" is by far the hardest to avoid. Even though networking sites give you the 'ignore' type button so you can, well, ignore their request, it doesn't mean you'll be so lucky in dodging them at the next family bar-b-que or family members funeral.

2. Co-Worker
Ah, the dreaded friend request from a co-worker. Always hardest to avoid when you are, shall we say, the boss of the house. Do you add them and face the never ending pokes and thumbs up on your pics from Hawaii where you decided to do a dance on the table after one too many Pina' Colada's? Or do you ignore them and face a possible revolt in the form of, "I can't make it to work today, I have explosive diarrhea."
Either way, ewww, don't you think? And what happens when they get fired or quit or if you face the ax and get canned or decide to jump the ship and quit? Do you keep them as a friend in case you need a recommendation?

3. Old flame
For either women or men, this is a touchy subject. Do you put your current relationship in jeopardy by having an old fling or even a long term relationship suddenly become a bud?
What I say to people who have this question for me is: If you've told your partner that your ex was a wonderful person, always there for you, and you thought that you two were going to get married, don't they have the right to be worried if after the lies and cheating you two were suddenly good buds?
Now if your current partner and you formed a relationship and you already had an ex as a 'friend' then it's hands off. Best bet is just to ask your partner. "Hey, so-n-so wants to be a friend. Will that bug you?" It will at least strike a conversation that's better to have under that circumstance than if they see your ex tag you in photos from the surprise engagement party their mother had thrown for you two.

4. Your childs teacher
Do you really want to go into a parent/teacher conference and all you can imagine is Teacher McDreamy in his bathing suit from his honeymoon photo album. Or better yet, do you want to read a post from them about how terrible of a day it had been and that children today are stupid?
Nah, you need to have boundarires on over sharing when it comes to the people who have your children for 6-8 hours a day. A babysitter is one thing, they tend to be teenagers and of course you want to know what they are doing if they are ever incharge of your children.
But teachers are teachers and they need privacy. So if you've tried to add Mr. Welmington or Ms. Duharmin and they haven't replied, don't take it to heart. They'd like to have some time off from your kids just like you do.

5. Significant other
First thing, you can never post anything where you say you are upset with them. Right there, that sucks. You can't vent about them because it will only keep the petty argument going.
The worst is people in wonderful relationships that are always posting on their significant others page picturs of cats snuggling and bunnies rubbing noses, hearts smiling and dancing, and fairies sitting on mushrooms with a caption of "You complete me." So before you hit the share button after posting a link for a cat to be hanging in a tree w/ the caption of "Your the one I wanna hang with for all time" think about all their friends seeing it too. Don't embarress them, or set you up to check their profile later to see it's magically disapeared.

6. Old friend you haven't seen in years
I'm totally guilty of this. I think the majority of my friends are in this catagory. It's not a bad thing, networking into your 20's and 30's is totally normal and Generation X.
Most of my friends on my pages I had gone to Laguna Middle School with or SLO High, even some Pacific Beachers out there, woo hoo! To me, that's great! And if the majority of your friends are in this catagory, pat yourself on the back, and for this reason mostly: People remembered you!
Yes, of course it's only been like 10 years for me right now, but think when you are 30 or 40 or even 50. If your friends list is mostly of catagory 6, that's great. You meaned enough to people to where they remembered you. Even if they had to look you up in the yearbook because you look nothing like your picture, that's still something.
Facebook and myspace are great sites to pick up where you left off. You can give an old classmate grief for being such a big New Kids on the Block fan or knowing every line to Leo DiCaprio movies, but hey, you were remembered.
And trust me, most people like to be reminded of how different they were 'back then' and to come across a friend who is doing really well with family or careers, it's humbling to know that there was a time when you said you were going to be a cartoonist and ended up in photography with your own business. Or that you were never going to marry because girls were gross, and now you have a beautiful wife and 10 kids. To be reminded of how much things have changed is great for people. It's therapeutic in a way I think.


I'm sure there are more categories than others but either way, be thankfull for what friends you do have on myspace or facebook. You know they'll always have your back.

Life w/out friends