When at WIC yesterday, the appointment officer wanted me to explain how life was going for myself and my family. I could have let loose on how things are but instead, I just explained it in short, simple detail. I told her how things could be easier if I had a job; a continuation of a talk Bill and I had had earlier. I wanted to cry when she then said, "Don't worry about working right now. You have a little baby that needs her mom at home, if you find yourselves needing help, let us know if there is anything more we can do."
I wanted to cry because I already feel so guilty about not working, that when being told to not worry about working, it then makes me feel guilty that I want to work, like I am abandoning my kids or something. It's not that I don't want to spend time at home with Hayley and Audrey, I just want to be able to help out and contribute more to take stress off of Bill. He's let me know repeatedly that he's happy I am able to stay at home with the girls and it has made our lives easier since I quit Hollywood Video. For some reason though, I can't shake the guilt.
I went through the same thing with Audrey when we lived with Bill's dad in Santa Barbara. When she was almost a year old, I knew I needed to get a job to help out. I was able to work for a few months while Bill was the stay at home dad. He got to take Audrey out on walks and stay home and watch Blue's Clues and Teletubbies with her and have loads of fun. He enjoyed that time with her so much I feel bad he isn't able to do it again with Hayley.
Today, we were able to go to Audrey's award ceremony for her National fitness award, it's one step down from the President's fitness award, but her certificate is still signed by Obama. She was so happy for that! : ) Both Bill and I were able to go and it made Audrey so happy when she saw he was there. She was telling everyone sitting around her, pointing him out, all smiles about it. (I was worried they'd think he was some mountain man with his scruffy beard.)
Usually, Bill isn't able to attend things at her school because he has to work. For a while, we both couldn't attend anything at her school because we both had to work. I guess I should be thankful that at least one of us is able to go. My parents had to work during the day most of the years of me growing up and weren't able to come every quarters award ceremony's. I'm not upset and I'm sure if they were able to attend one, I just don't remember. I wonder if Audrey will remember that Bill was there today, or even that I was?
Opportunities like today are so rare, I guess they should make me feel blessed. Even though I'd rather be working I need to feel glad I'm able to attend these school functions because so many other parents aren't able to. I need to remind myself that Bill and I are fortunate to be able to be in the right financial setting now to be a one income household and that my job is taking care of my family. I love having that as a job and I don't need to feel guilty that I am not helping out financially, I am helping out to have my daughters grow up to be wonderful human beings. That alone is worth it to be short a few extra dollars. As Audrey says, "It's at least better than nothing."
Thank you Audrey, you have made my day. : )
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Happy Memorial Day!
Tomorrow is Memorial Day and we take that time to add an extra day to our weekend to do as we please. We have family get togethers of either an outing to the movies or a fun and delicious bar-b-que.
For years I never really understood what Memorial Day was, I was always confused to as to why it looked so much like Independence Day with out the fireworks, that is until my time at the Olympia Moose Lodge.
I had made different wreaths during Christmas time, not sticking to the main holiday ones, I made one that was a giant wreath covered in silk carnations, striped in red, white and blue. When I took it down a lady asked if she could have it, later stating that she was going to put it on her husband's headstone on Memorial Day.
Her husband had been a soldier and fought for this country, he died during WWII. She has children, those children have children, and those children have children, and some day, those children will have their own. They will never know him, will never know that soldier who gave so much for them, even though they hadn't been born yet.
Our youth of today is lost of the concept of fighting for our country, dieing for our county. There are many who think that if you are patriotic, you a southern hick, or republican. That's funny to me.
It's sad to say that many people will only see tomorrow as a "get outta work" card, so to speak. Drive by a cemetary, give a salute to those flags and wreaths out there. If you stop your car and do it or just nod and keep on driving, take the time to remember them. Despite your heritage, political stance on the current war, religion or facebook status, keep all those brave women and men who fought for our country and paid the ultimate price and the ultimate sacrifice in your thoughts, what ever you end up doing.
If their families can do it, you certainly can too.
For years I never really understood what Memorial Day was, I was always confused to as to why it looked so much like Independence Day with out the fireworks, that is until my time at the Olympia Moose Lodge.
I had made different wreaths during Christmas time, not sticking to the main holiday ones, I made one that was a giant wreath covered in silk carnations, striped in red, white and blue. When I took it down a lady asked if she could have it, later stating that she was going to put it on her husband's headstone on Memorial Day.
Her husband had been a soldier and fought for this country, he died during WWII. She has children, those children have children, and those children have children, and some day, those children will have their own. They will never know him, will never know that soldier who gave so much for them, even though they hadn't been born yet.
Our youth of today is lost of the concept of fighting for our country, dieing for our county. There are many who think that if you are patriotic, you a southern hick, or republican. That's funny to me.
It's sad to say that many people will only see tomorrow as a "get outta work" card, so to speak. Drive by a cemetary, give a salute to those flags and wreaths out there. If you stop your car and do it or just nod and keep on driving, take the time to remember them. Despite your heritage, political stance on the current war, religion or facebook status, keep all those brave women and men who fought for our country and paid the ultimate price and the ultimate sacrifice in your thoughts, what ever you end up doing.
If their families can do it, you certainly can too.
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Lost and Law & Order--SPOILER ALERT!!!!!!!!!!!
And yes, as another week has started, another has ended. With it, we lost two treasures in TV history. Yes, I am talking about Lost and Law & Order.
I'm sure the blog-waves have been a-buzzin with chatter about the two gems leaving us for good, only to give us sweet memories via re-runs. I am now going to add to the many fans and give my farewell to the two wonderful shows that have helped my butt to get bigger as I've sat on the couch, fully engulfed with a bag of chips to go along with the engrossing stories both shows have provided.
I will not add to the speculation about a Lost movie and I will not make or join a facebook page to fight for Law & Order to be saved, I will only give my goodbyes.
Lost got me hooked on the first episode, even though I started watching the show halfway into the second season. By the time I was trying to figure out if Mr. Eko was a good guy, if Walt was ever going to be found, and if the smoke monster was my imagination or the writers of the show, a big portion of the world was already hooked and had been since the pilot.
Lost provided us episode after episode of intrigue and mystery for our dull lives. I would speculate with customers at the video store as to what was going to happen next and I cried when Charlie died, but also cursed the screen for how idiotic he went. Seriously, you couldn't have taken the time to have jumped out of the room, shut the door and been okay......no, you had to find a sharpie pen and write on your wet palm 'Not Penny's boat' as the room you had locked YOUR SELF into was filling with the cold, frigid sea water. Seriously?! Of course, this is pointless in asking since that was years ago and it didn't matter to the grand scheme of the show.
Lost also gave my husband and I something to talk about when things were sour between us. If Kate and Jack were arguing, it was sure to bring up something that was unsaid and eating away at us. It was therapeutic and I looked forward to the return of each season greatly for that reason.
When Lost began it's Final Season send off a few months ago, all us Lost fans prepared ourselves, not sure what was to come. We sat back and cried as beloved friends passed away; Jin, Sun, and even the now turned slightly evil Sayid.
I cried when Jin and Sun died, not just because of their beautiful love story that took us all years to understand, (yes, I was thinking their child was going to turn out to be Michael's) but because of their baby back home was never going to grow up with it's wonderful parents. After all those years, the anger we had towards Jin...it was waining when he sailed away on that badly made raft with Sawyer and Michael, and the anger was completely gone when we heard his first few English sentences, such as "Those pants don't make you look fat."
Lost received weeks of preparation for it's final episode, even receiving an extra hour and a half of TV time to give it's final story of the mysterious island. We even got a few hours of catch up with cast retrospects and fan send ins of their thank yous and good byes to the show that had changed their lives.
All we could talk about everywhere was Lost....even the morning newspaper the next morning offered a spoiler for my husband. He hadn't been able to watch the final episode because he had to leave for work during the showing, and come on, who wants to leave during such an event as that?
Lost.....Lost.....Lost.......
Ironic, you know what became lost during all the talk about Lost?
Law & Order.
A show that had been on for 2 decades. A show that had more episodes, twists and turns, good out comes against the bad, and more actors and actresses getting speaking parts than Lost ever could have had. Of course Law & Order had been getting dull for it's die hard fans....but it was still a staple in my household.
My mother who passed away almost 3 years ago was a big fan of Law & Order. My first memory of watching the show was with her sitting in her rocking chair, drinking her home brewed tea as I sat on the living room floor trying to understand the dialogue of the adults on the TV. I immediately got a crush on Chris Noth, loving his plaid ties and slight Brooklyn accent. After the first episode, I was hooked. I loved how they got the bad guy, not just arresting him but taking him to court and getting him behind bars.
I was only 10 years old, I'm now 27. That means for almost 17 years I was a fan of the show. I've seen every episode, catching re-run marathons with my mom making sure each episode was put in my memory. We loved it when a bad guy who'd gotten off for killing his wife one season was finally going to jail in a different season, having of been turned in by his mistress for killing his second wife. It was sweet justice.
Many people had never seen an episode of Law & Order but are big fans of either of it's spin off shows SVU or CI. Both respectable shows, but never as good as the original series that started them off.
So it was only to be expected that so many of us massive fans would be outraged at hearing that a show that had been around for 20 years and only had one more season to beat out Gunsmoke as the longest running scripted TV show....was now canceled. Canceled! That's like canceling Jeopardy or Wheel of Fortune. It just doesn't make sense.
So last night, I watched the final episode of Law & Order, knowing full well I was going to have a full range of emotions flood through me. I sat in my husbands recliner....I didn't have tea, I can't make it like Mom could so why waste the tea bags? I had Pepsi instead. I sat and watched the beloved show that reminded me so much of her and felt like I'd lost her all over again.
I know it's silly, it's just a TV show. But every episode of Law & Order reminds me of my mother, because up until she passed, it was still a conversation piece between us, much like how Lost had been for my husband and I.
I cried when Law & Order ended.....I was so happy the main characters cancer was gone. (I thought of my sister who had gone through a cancer scare a few years ago and it made me cry even more.) I was angry though that NBC didn't add any message after the episode. Nothing was on the screen like, "Thank you to all the loyal fans for the last 20 years." or even a memorandum of the actors of characters who've passed away, such as Jerry Orbach. (He was the voice of the candle stick in Beauty and the Beast and played Baby's father in Dirty Dancing in case you have no idea who that is.) Orbach brought Lenny Briscoe to life, he was a true New York cop through and through.
There was nothing on the screen. It went into commercials, then credits, then the nightly news. A show that had offered so much to the city of New York, had done justice to the officers of New York in the aftermath of 9/11, was just so quickly dismissed and swept under the rug. We will all continue to speak of Lost and the impact it had on TV viewing, and like I said, Law & Order will be lost in the shuffle.
It's so sad I can't even think of a proper ending to my own rant. I guess for all the other Law & Order fans, just think of the iconic gavel sound bite that would be played out through the show, or for you Lost fans, think of instead of children saying "Bad Robot!" think "Bad NBC!"
I'm sure the blog-waves have been a-buzzin with chatter about the two gems leaving us for good, only to give us sweet memories via re-runs. I am now going to add to the many fans and give my farewell to the two wonderful shows that have helped my butt to get bigger as I've sat on the couch, fully engulfed with a bag of chips to go along with the engrossing stories both shows have provided.
I will not add to the speculation about a Lost movie and I will not make or join a facebook page to fight for Law & Order to be saved, I will only give my goodbyes.
Lost got me hooked on the first episode, even though I started watching the show halfway into the second season. By the time I was trying to figure out if Mr. Eko was a good guy, if Walt was ever going to be found, and if the smoke monster was my imagination or the writers of the show, a big portion of the world was already hooked and had been since the pilot.
Lost provided us episode after episode of intrigue and mystery for our dull lives. I would speculate with customers at the video store as to what was going to happen next and I cried when Charlie died, but also cursed the screen for how idiotic he went. Seriously, you couldn't have taken the time to have jumped out of the room, shut the door and been okay......no, you had to find a sharpie pen and write on your wet palm 'Not Penny's boat' as the room you had locked YOUR SELF into was filling with the cold, frigid sea water. Seriously?! Of course, this is pointless in asking since that was years ago and it didn't matter to the grand scheme of the show.
Lost also gave my husband and I something to talk about when things were sour between us. If Kate and Jack were arguing, it was sure to bring up something that was unsaid and eating away at us. It was therapeutic and I looked forward to the return of each season greatly for that reason.
When Lost began it's Final Season send off a few months ago, all us Lost fans prepared ourselves, not sure what was to come. We sat back and cried as beloved friends passed away; Jin, Sun, and even the now turned slightly evil Sayid.
I cried when Jin and Sun died, not just because of their beautiful love story that took us all years to understand, (yes, I was thinking their child was going to turn out to be Michael's) but because of their baby back home was never going to grow up with it's wonderful parents. After all those years, the anger we had towards Jin...it was waining when he sailed away on that badly made raft with Sawyer and Michael, and the anger was completely gone when we heard his first few English sentences, such as "Those pants don't make you look fat."
Lost received weeks of preparation for it's final episode, even receiving an extra hour and a half of TV time to give it's final story of the mysterious island. We even got a few hours of catch up with cast retrospects and fan send ins of their thank yous and good byes to the show that had changed their lives.
All we could talk about everywhere was Lost....even the morning newspaper the next morning offered a spoiler for my husband. He hadn't been able to watch the final episode because he had to leave for work during the showing, and come on, who wants to leave during such an event as that?
Lost.....Lost.....Lost.......
Ironic, you know what became lost during all the talk about Lost?
Law & Order.
A show that had been on for 2 decades. A show that had more episodes, twists and turns, good out comes against the bad, and more actors and actresses getting speaking parts than Lost ever could have had. Of course Law & Order had been getting dull for it's die hard fans....but it was still a staple in my household.
My mother who passed away almost 3 years ago was a big fan of Law & Order. My first memory of watching the show was with her sitting in her rocking chair, drinking her home brewed tea as I sat on the living room floor trying to understand the dialogue of the adults on the TV. I immediately got a crush on Chris Noth, loving his plaid ties and slight Brooklyn accent. After the first episode, I was hooked. I loved how they got the bad guy, not just arresting him but taking him to court and getting him behind bars.
I was only 10 years old, I'm now 27. That means for almost 17 years I was a fan of the show. I've seen every episode, catching re-run marathons with my mom making sure each episode was put in my memory. We loved it when a bad guy who'd gotten off for killing his wife one season was finally going to jail in a different season, having of been turned in by his mistress for killing his second wife. It was sweet justice.
Many people had never seen an episode of Law & Order but are big fans of either of it's spin off shows SVU or CI. Both respectable shows, but never as good as the original series that started them off.
So it was only to be expected that so many of us massive fans would be outraged at hearing that a show that had been around for 20 years and only had one more season to beat out Gunsmoke as the longest running scripted TV show....was now canceled. Canceled! That's like canceling Jeopardy or Wheel of Fortune. It just doesn't make sense.
So last night, I watched the final episode of Law & Order, knowing full well I was going to have a full range of emotions flood through me. I sat in my husbands recliner....I didn't have tea, I can't make it like Mom could so why waste the tea bags? I had Pepsi instead. I sat and watched the beloved show that reminded me so much of her and felt like I'd lost her all over again.
I know it's silly, it's just a TV show. But every episode of Law & Order reminds me of my mother, because up until she passed, it was still a conversation piece between us, much like how Lost had been for my husband and I.
I cried when Law & Order ended.....I was so happy the main characters cancer was gone. (I thought of my sister who had gone through a cancer scare a few years ago and it made me cry even more.) I was angry though that NBC didn't add any message after the episode. Nothing was on the screen like, "Thank you to all the loyal fans for the last 20 years." or even a memorandum of the actors of characters who've passed away, such as Jerry Orbach. (He was the voice of the candle stick in Beauty and the Beast and played Baby's father in Dirty Dancing in case you have no idea who that is.) Orbach brought Lenny Briscoe to life, he was a true New York cop through and through.
There was nothing on the screen. It went into commercials, then credits, then the nightly news. A show that had offered so much to the city of New York, had done justice to the officers of New York in the aftermath of 9/11, was just so quickly dismissed and swept under the rug. We will all continue to speak of Lost and the impact it had on TV viewing, and like I said, Law & Order will be lost in the shuffle.
It's so sad I can't even think of a proper ending to my own rant. I guess for all the other Law & Order fans, just think of the iconic gavel sound bite that would be played out through the show, or for you Lost fans, think of instead of children saying "Bad Robot!" think "Bad NBC!"
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Yay, I did it!!!!!
YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Because of my daughter's birthday party back in April and some financial worries that caused me to go off budget for our new diet, I gained back much of what I had lost. So I'm excited to say that this week, I lost another 6.25 inches!!
It's scary to think that after all those weeks of hard work and watching what I ate was ruined in ONLY 2 WEEKS. It's been so hard to get it back off, but now that it is, I plan on keeping it that way.
I'm getting to go down to California this summer, the last week of August it looks like. I have to double check on when school starts back up before finalizing everything with Bill's family that live down there. I'm getting to take the girls down to see Bill's dad and his dad's mom. It's been almost 2 years since they've seen Audrey and I'm sure they are really excited to meet baby Hayley. I'm worried that with being on the 'road' so to speak (we're taking good ol' Amtrak) that my eating habits will be messed up again. I hope not. Even though I fell off the wagon I don't want to pack back on those inches EVER again.......ever.
I'm excited for the trip. It looks like it's going to be set in stone over the next few days, then I can start to plan accordingly. I doubt I'll be bathing suit ready in time, but maybe at least short shorts ready. (I better get some sun on my pastey, dead looking legs then!) Audrey doesn't know about the trip yet, she only knows of it being a possiblility for in the spring, so I think it will be a nice surprise for her. And of course Hayley has no idea what's going on, but I'm sure she will love the train.
Well, wish me luck to continue to loose those 'icky-inches' and I will keep all my Cali-friends informed so we can possibly meet up while I'm down south.
: )
Because of my daughter's birthday party back in April and some financial worries that caused me to go off budget for our new diet, I gained back much of what I had lost. So I'm excited to say that this week, I lost another 6.25 inches!!
It's scary to think that after all those weeks of hard work and watching what I ate was ruined in ONLY 2 WEEKS. It's been so hard to get it back off, but now that it is, I plan on keeping it that way.
I'm getting to go down to California this summer, the last week of August it looks like. I have to double check on when school starts back up before finalizing everything with Bill's family that live down there. I'm getting to take the girls down to see Bill's dad and his dad's mom. It's been almost 2 years since they've seen Audrey and I'm sure they are really excited to meet baby Hayley. I'm worried that with being on the 'road' so to speak (we're taking good ol' Amtrak) that my eating habits will be messed up again. I hope not. Even though I fell off the wagon I don't want to pack back on those inches EVER again.......ever.
I'm excited for the trip. It looks like it's going to be set in stone over the next few days, then I can start to plan accordingly. I doubt I'll be bathing suit ready in time, but maybe at least short shorts ready. (I better get some sun on my pastey, dead looking legs then!) Audrey doesn't know about the trip yet, she only knows of it being a possiblility for in the spring, so I think it will be a nice surprise for her. And of course Hayley has no idea what's going on, but I'm sure she will love the train.
Well, wish me luck to continue to loose those 'icky-inches' and I will keep all my Cali-friends informed so we can possibly meet up while I'm down south.
: )
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
"Times and seasons, ryhmes and reasons...."
("Times and seasons, rhymes and reasons..." is from a song I remember from 1st grade.)
My dad brought over a trunk I've been having him store for me for years. I was excited because I knew for a fact that a baby dress was in there and I wanted to get Hayley into it before she'd grow out of it. It's the same baby dress that my sister Jenn wore when she was a baby, and then me, then Audrey. Now, Hayley. That's warms my heart! There was also a few pregnancy shirts that had been my mom's and then I wore with Audrey (didn't get a chance with Hayley) and also a few select outfits that had been Audrey's. My favorite being the Buzz Lightyear costume that had been Austins then was given to Audrey, now it will be Hayleys. Audrey was excited to see her dalmation doggie jacket, she had forgotten about it. Hayley is going to look so cute!!
Also in this little treasure trove was my school year books. So for the last hour or so I've been looking through the years of my schooling in California. From 5th grade until my Sophmore year. That's all I have. My 'Senior' year book from Pacific Beach is gone because some drunk chick took off with it at one of my roomies parties. I really loved that year book, I worked hard on that thing and I have nothing to show my kids from the best year of my life.
It's weird to look back on things like that, looking at people's signatures or the funny things they wrote. I even have a year book where I had drawn hearts around all the boys I had a crush on that year. That was really strange in a way. I don't even remember half the guys and the ones I do, what the hell did I see in them???
But I also noticed how much I've changed. Not just in looks but also my outlook on life. I went from wanting to fit in so much at the schools I went to, to now not caring if I even fit into the PTA. Also, so many of my friends and classmates, and even some teachers, wrote in my yearbook thanking me for listening to them and being a good friend. That was nice to see. Now, my best friend is my husband, I don't think he can say I'm a good listener. : )
As I sit here, reflecting over what I've looked at, I also realize that even though I've kept in touch with a lot of those friends through the years, thanks to facebook and myspace, I never get to see them or talk to them.
That's strange how you can stay friends with someone for over 10 years and have not seen them in just as long. I feel fortunate for it, I really do. I love that I've been a part of those people's lives and I'm glad that they have been a part of mine.
So, my advice is this, as soon as you have a chance, take out your old yearbooks. All of them that you have. If you don't have yearbooks, then some old photo albums. Look through them from the soonest to the oldest.
Look at how you've been from recent times, to the farthest back you have documented. Don't be embarressed at how you looked on your photo day, half the time you were wearing something your mom picked out that you never wore again. Don't just look at the pictures, read what people wrote for you. Try to remember what you wrote for them.
You may learn something about yourself, or at least be reminded of something you may have forgotten.
My dad brought over a trunk I've been having him store for me for years. I was excited because I knew for a fact that a baby dress was in there and I wanted to get Hayley into it before she'd grow out of it. It's the same baby dress that my sister Jenn wore when she was a baby, and then me, then Audrey. Now, Hayley. That's warms my heart! There was also a few pregnancy shirts that had been my mom's and then I wore with Audrey (didn't get a chance with Hayley) and also a few select outfits that had been Audrey's. My favorite being the Buzz Lightyear costume that had been Austins then was given to Audrey, now it will be Hayleys. Audrey was excited to see her dalmation doggie jacket, she had forgotten about it. Hayley is going to look so cute!!
Also in this little treasure trove was my school year books. So for the last hour or so I've been looking through the years of my schooling in California. From 5th grade until my Sophmore year. That's all I have. My 'Senior' year book from Pacific Beach is gone because some drunk chick took off with it at one of my roomies parties. I really loved that year book, I worked hard on that thing and I have nothing to show my kids from the best year of my life.
It's weird to look back on things like that, looking at people's signatures or the funny things they wrote. I even have a year book where I had drawn hearts around all the boys I had a crush on that year. That was really strange in a way. I don't even remember half the guys and the ones I do, what the hell did I see in them???
But I also noticed how much I've changed. Not just in looks but also my outlook on life. I went from wanting to fit in so much at the schools I went to, to now not caring if I even fit into the PTA. Also, so many of my friends and classmates, and even some teachers, wrote in my yearbook thanking me for listening to them and being a good friend. That was nice to see. Now, my best friend is my husband, I don't think he can say I'm a good listener. : )
As I sit here, reflecting over what I've looked at, I also realize that even though I've kept in touch with a lot of those friends through the years, thanks to facebook and myspace, I never get to see them or talk to them.
That's strange how you can stay friends with someone for over 10 years and have not seen them in just as long. I feel fortunate for it, I really do. I love that I've been a part of those people's lives and I'm glad that they have been a part of mine.
So, my advice is this, as soon as you have a chance, take out your old yearbooks. All of them that you have. If you don't have yearbooks, then some old photo albums. Look through them from the soonest to the oldest.
Look at how you've been from recent times, to the farthest back you have documented. Don't be embarressed at how you looked on your photo day, half the time you were wearing something your mom picked out that you never wore again. Don't just look at the pictures, read what people wrote for you. Try to remember what you wrote for them.
You may learn something about yourself, or at least be reminded of something you may have forgotten.
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
woo hoo, I got off my fat butt and worked out!!!!!
So to get back on track with my weight loss goals, I worked out tonight w/ Audrey to some good ol' Gilad Janklowicz. We had some issues with some of the moves, but over all, as uncordinated as I am, we did alright. We invented our own yoga pose: "Pooped-because-we-haven't-worked-out-in-over-a-week-dead-body-pose."
We continued after our 30 minute blast of cardio and weights and did a quick walk to our mailbox, which is a good quarter of a mile there and back. Needless to say, after we were done, she was T-I-R-E-D! She kept up really well and took the breaks she needed. I never push her to continue and she uses 2lb weights which her PE teacher says are more than fine to use. Now she's sleeping soundly, and I'm overly energized. Lucky her.
I guess I could use that lil' burst of energy to work out some more. No such luck, Hayley is having her tummy/play by herself time in her play pen which is parked smack dab in my workout spot. Darn her on stealing my spot, I saw it first! Oh well, I shouldn't have taken my time to move.
I guess I could finish off the dishes. Uhhh, no. They're clean and will stay clean in the nice dishwasher cubby that is better organized than my cupboards right now. Remind me to fix that by the way.
I could put away that last stack of laundry. Nope. I would rather keep that for my Law and Order down time later. I can relax better during that show if I have a pile of laundry in front of me. Just like old times with my mom, folding towels, trying to figure out 'who-dun-it'. It's almost always the first person they interview or the celebrity guest. Even Bill has learned from watching Law and Order with me, I almost always know who is the murderer. I'm quite proud, although it makes for bad entertainment when you can always figure it out 5 mintues into the damn episode.
Maybe, I could better orgranize the office....... Bill's in there on his computer, enjoying his last bit of freedom of his weekly day off from work, playing some 8 ball pool with Rick via Yahoo. Ahh, what a life. lol. I envy Bill sometimes, he has a best friend he can hang out with, tell his secrets to....eww, don't wanna think about my hubby gossiping. But yes, I am jealous.
Ever since I stopped working, I don't get out much. I don't have time to help out at Audrey's school because of Bill's work schedule and I can't take Hayley to where she'll be around lots of kids. I'm not one of those germaphobic moms, her meds have to be stuck to a strict time line and she can't miss any doses. So, if she gets sick, like if she has trouble swallowing or is throwing up a lot, it can mess up her schedule and she can have lots of bad reactions to the lack of medicine in her little body.
I don't mind though, it gives me more Mother-daughter time that I missed so much with Audrey when she was that age. When we were living in Santa Barbara I had to go back to work when Bill couldn't find anything and I missed out a lot on Audrey's growth. He got to have lots of fun with her though so it wasn't a total loss.
I guess I feel like I'm lacking in the "friends who live near by and don't have a life like me" department. All my local friends have work, schooling, and life to tend to, so I guess my best friend at times is going to be, by default, Audrey. Woopty!
Don't get me wrong, I'm sure being friends with an 8 year old is great, but man, you sure don't have a lot in common. I like iCarly and we'll watch some good movies together. But for every good movie we'll watch, she'll make me sit through a really bad one.
Free Willy....still a bad movie. That movie does not age gracefully like others. Monster Squad, that aged gracefully. Princess Bride....The Goonies....Back to the Future, heck even Speed. Free Willy, I don't think so. My idea of a good time isn't to sit and watch a movie about a whale in captivity being set free by a juvenile delinquent who turned his life around because of his great relationship with an orca. I mean, come on people. Yes, I am guilty of being a fan when I was 11, but I didn't know any better. Much like my love for the show Ghostwriter.
I guess I could count Bill as my best friend. We've been together for 9 years, that's something. We're both in the longest relationship either of us have ever been in, and the fact we haven't ended up like Kathleen Turner or Michael Douglas at the end of War of the Roses yet, I think we should earn a medal. Of course, I doubt our dinning room light fixture could support either of our weights, so I don't think that'll ever be a problem.
Well, either way, at least I have a work out buddy with Audrey. She's sweet when we work out together. She cheers me on, although I'd be fine with the occasional encouraging words of "Come on Mommy, you can do it!" or "Come on, one more!" Nope, she says in a sing-song voice in the style of the Micromachine guy from the 80's: "Let's go Momma, you can do it!" It's a real motivator. : )
Well, I best finish this off. Sorry, no cute title or funny send off. Just a good night. Good night!
We continued after our 30 minute blast of cardio and weights and did a quick walk to our mailbox, which is a good quarter of a mile there and back. Needless to say, after we were done, she was T-I-R-E-D! She kept up really well and took the breaks she needed. I never push her to continue and she uses 2lb weights which her PE teacher says are more than fine to use. Now she's sleeping soundly, and I'm overly energized. Lucky her.
I guess I could use that lil' burst of energy to work out some more. No such luck, Hayley is having her tummy/play by herself time in her play pen which is parked smack dab in my workout spot. Darn her on stealing my spot, I saw it first! Oh well, I shouldn't have taken my time to move.
I guess I could finish off the dishes. Uhhh, no. They're clean and will stay clean in the nice dishwasher cubby that is better organized than my cupboards right now. Remind me to fix that by the way.
I could put away that last stack of laundry. Nope. I would rather keep that for my Law and Order down time later. I can relax better during that show if I have a pile of laundry in front of me. Just like old times with my mom, folding towels, trying to figure out 'who-dun-it'. It's almost always the first person they interview or the celebrity guest. Even Bill has learned from watching Law and Order with me, I almost always know who is the murderer. I'm quite proud, although it makes for bad entertainment when you can always figure it out 5 mintues into the damn episode.
Maybe, I could better orgranize the office....... Bill's in there on his computer, enjoying his last bit of freedom of his weekly day off from work, playing some 8 ball pool with Rick via Yahoo. Ahh, what a life. lol. I envy Bill sometimes, he has a best friend he can hang out with, tell his secrets to....eww, don't wanna think about my hubby gossiping. But yes, I am jealous.
Ever since I stopped working, I don't get out much. I don't have time to help out at Audrey's school because of Bill's work schedule and I can't take Hayley to where she'll be around lots of kids. I'm not one of those germaphobic moms, her meds have to be stuck to a strict time line and she can't miss any doses. So, if she gets sick, like if she has trouble swallowing or is throwing up a lot, it can mess up her schedule and she can have lots of bad reactions to the lack of medicine in her little body.
I don't mind though, it gives me more Mother-daughter time that I missed so much with Audrey when she was that age. When we were living in Santa Barbara I had to go back to work when Bill couldn't find anything and I missed out a lot on Audrey's growth. He got to have lots of fun with her though so it wasn't a total loss.
I guess I feel like I'm lacking in the "friends who live near by and don't have a life like me" department. All my local friends have work, schooling, and life to tend to, so I guess my best friend at times is going to be, by default, Audrey. Woopty!
Don't get me wrong, I'm sure being friends with an 8 year old is great, but man, you sure don't have a lot in common. I like iCarly and we'll watch some good movies together. But for every good movie we'll watch, she'll make me sit through a really bad one.
Free Willy....still a bad movie. That movie does not age gracefully like others. Monster Squad, that aged gracefully. Princess Bride....The Goonies....Back to the Future, heck even Speed. Free Willy, I don't think so. My idea of a good time isn't to sit and watch a movie about a whale in captivity being set free by a juvenile delinquent who turned his life around because of his great relationship with an orca. I mean, come on people. Yes, I am guilty of being a fan when I was 11, but I didn't know any better. Much like my love for the show Ghostwriter.
I guess I could count Bill as my best friend. We've been together for 9 years, that's something. We're both in the longest relationship either of us have ever been in, and the fact we haven't ended up like Kathleen Turner or Michael Douglas at the end of War of the Roses yet, I think we should earn a medal. Of course, I doubt our dinning room light fixture could support either of our weights, so I don't think that'll ever be a problem.
Well, either way, at least I have a work out buddy with Audrey. She's sweet when we work out together. She cheers me on, although I'd be fine with the occasional encouraging words of "Come on Mommy, you can do it!" or "Come on, one more!" Nope, she says in a sing-song voice in the style of the Micromachine guy from the 80's: "Let's go Momma, you can do it!" It's a real motivator. : )
Well, I best finish this off. Sorry, no cute title or funny send off. Just a good night. Good night!
Monday, May 10, 2010
In an effort to loose weight and become the "old me" I have taken on watching certain TV shows to help keep me on track.
One of my favorites is Kirstie Alley's Big Life.
I've been a fan of hers since Look Who's Talking and my favorite movies of hers are Shoot To Kill, where she stared with Sidney Poitier, and of course Summer School, an ultimate 80's classic.
I watched her go from her very fit and trim self to where she is now, struggling with her weight and her self esteem. I myself, have hit that bump in the road too. Actually, imagine the bump was a 12 foot tall moose and I hit it, stopped, backed up, and ran into it again, damaging my car beyond all repair. (No people, I am a animal lover and I have seen moose up close, it's just a point I am making.)
I went from being 135 lbs before my first pregnancy to now currently....well, that's not an issue is it? The issue is during that first pregnancy I started out not eating right to suddenly having food shoved in front of me. I gained over 75 lbs in one trimester and it caused a lot of health problems at the end of my pregnancy. I had trouble for the first year to get the weight off, and now, 8 years after my daughter was born, I'm still struggling with that "last bit of weight" mostly because, well, it's a good 75 lbs!
I tried to loose weight a little over a year ago. I even lost 30 lbs. for my dad's wedding. Massive amounts of thank yous still go out to my friend and old co-worker Christine for teaching me about sodium, portion control, and just plain ol' eating healthy! I am proud of my friend Christine because she is going to college to become a natural-pathic physician and she will do an excellent job when she fullfills her dreams.
So, shortly after wedding, I became pregnant again and I became sick during my first trimester, which I feel is a big reason why I had my daughter at 32 weeks. I just couldn't stop being sick and once again, I wasn't eating correctly.
Now, a year later from since I found out I was pregnant with my newest bundle of joy, I am once again on the fast track to loosing weight. I'm not keeping track of the loosing weight part just yet, I'm keeping track of the inches I'm loosing. I'm keeping close eye on my arms, legs, and neck since that is where the most part of water weight will start to come off. I'm doing my best considering I don't have much time to work out, other than the almost daily mile walks I take with my daughters, occasionally we hit 3-4 miles though. I am staying on target with my goals of keeping my soda intake to almost none and I've cut back on snacks and candy so tremendously that my daughter told me on Mother's Day that I deserved my favorite candy, a Hershey's chocolate bar, for not eating candy as much as I used to. Awww, how sweet? About three hours later she pointed out that I'm not working out as much as I used to and I need to start again. Gee, thanks kido.
So, what does this whole back story have to do with Kirstie Alley?
An episode of her show that aired this weekend showed Kirstie become very concerned with the eating habits of the people closest to her. She was realizing that they were on the fast track to getting to where she is today. Even though they could gripe that they were thin and are then allowed to eat anything, they weren't realizing that eating bad and gaining weight takes time, which does creep up on you suddenly if you aren't too carefull. Her fix to the situation, she had them dress up in 'fat suits' to see what it's like to be massivley larger than you are. The episode showed how much harder it was to climb a flight of stairs repeatedly, to do your daily tasks, to get in and out of a car, and to take a bath. It was comical yes, but also very eye opening. When Kirstie talked about how she would have done things differently if she would have known how hard it was going to be, I think her plan to help her family and friends to eat better soon became another reason for her to keep to her goals of weight loss.
For me however, it hit hard when her daughter put on her fat suit and suddenly looked a lot more like her mother. It made me think of my two daughters. Especially my eldest. She is getting closer to the age of when my weight became an issue for me and it worries me that my eating habits have done damage to her.
She is very thin and fit, she is a great runner and she loves to play outside, not just sit and watch TV and play video games. However, I caught her on the scale the other day and she was bummed she'd gained a pound. I explained to her that she's still growing up so of course she's going to gain weight. If I wasn't having this issue with my weight, I wouldn't even have a scale. If she didn't see me charting my progress (and lack of) would she be so concerned about her own weight?
I had a good talk with her about it and I hope she understands that she doesn't have to end up in my shoes. I explained to her about why I want to loose the weight and about all the health problems that have been caused by my weight issues. She especially took note in the fact that I am on medication to regulate my blood pressure, which I wouldn't have to do if I lost more weight.
Hopefully my daughter will eat right, have loads of self esteem, be fit, be happy, and live a long wonderful life. I hope that if I continue on my path of self improvement, I will be able to sit along side her through her journey of self discovery and get to be myself, fit, happy, and to live a long wonderful life.
One of my favorites is Kirstie Alley's Big Life.
I've been a fan of hers since Look Who's Talking and my favorite movies of hers are Shoot To Kill, where she stared with Sidney Poitier, and of course Summer School, an ultimate 80's classic.
I watched her go from her very fit and trim self to where she is now, struggling with her weight and her self esteem. I myself, have hit that bump in the road too. Actually, imagine the bump was a 12 foot tall moose and I hit it, stopped, backed up, and ran into it again, damaging my car beyond all repair. (No people, I am a animal lover and I have seen moose up close, it's just a point I am making.)
I went from being 135 lbs before my first pregnancy to now currently....well, that's not an issue is it? The issue is during that first pregnancy I started out not eating right to suddenly having food shoved in front of me. I gained over 75 lbs in one trimester and it caused a lot of health problems at the end of my pregnancy. I had trouble for the first year to get the weight off, and now, 8 years after my daughter was born, I'm still struggling with that "last bit of weight" mostly because, well, it's a good 75 lbs!
I tried to loose weight a little over a year ago. I even lost 30 lbs. for my dad's wedding. Massive amounts of thank yous still go out to my friend and old co-worker Christine for teaching me about sodium, portion control, and just plain ol' eating healthy! I am proud of my friend Christine because she is going to college to become a natural-pathic physician and she will do an excellent job when she fullfills her dreams.
So, shortly after wedding, I became pregnant again and I became sick during my first trimester, which I feel is a big reason why I had my daughter at 32 weeks. I just couldn't stop being sick and once again, I wasn't eating correctly.
Now, a year later from since I found out I was pregnant with my newest bundle of joy, I am once again on the fast track to loosing weight. I'm not keeping track of the loosing weight part just yet, I'm keeping track of the inches I'm loosing. I'm keeping close eye on my arms, legs, and neck since that is where the most part of water weight will start to come off. I'm doing my best considering I don't have much time to work out, other than the almost daily mile walks I take with my daughters, occasionally we hit 3-4 miles though. I am staying on target with my goals of keeping my soda intake to almost none and I've cut back on snacks and candy so tremendously that my daughter told me on Mother's Day that I deserved my favorite candy, a Hershey's chocolate bar, for not eating candy as much as I used to. Awww, how sweet? About three hours later she pointed out that I'm not working out as much as I used to and I need to start again. Gee, thanks kido.
So, what does this whole back story have to do with Kirstie Alley?
An episode of her show that aired this weekend showed Kirstie become very concerned with the eating habits of the people closest to her. She was realizing that they were on the fast track to getting to where she is today. Even though they could gripe that they were thin and are then allowed to eat anything, they weren't realizing that eating bad and gaining weight takes time, which does creep up on you suddenly if you aren't too carefull. Her fix to the situation, she had them dress up in 'fat suits' to see what it's like to be massivley larger than you are. The episode showed how much harder it was to climb a flight of stairs repeatedly, to do your daily tasks, to get in and out of a car, and to take a bath. It was comical yes, but also very eye opening. When Kirstie talked about how she would have done things differently if she would have known how hard it was going to be, I think her plan to help her family and friends to eat better soon became another reason for her to keep to her goals of weight loss.
For me however, it hit hard when her daughter put on her fat suit and suddenly looked a lot more like her mother. It made me think of my two daughters. Especially my eldest. She is getting closer to the age of when my weight became an issue for me and it worries me that my eating habits have done damage to her.
She is very thin and fit, she is a great runner and she loves to play outside, not just sit and watch TV and play video games. However, I caught her on the scale the other day and she was bummed she'd gained a pound. I explained to her that she's still growing up so of course she's going to gain weight. If I wasn't having this issue with my weight, I wouldn't even have a scale. If she didn't see me charting my progress (and lack of) would she be so concerned about her own weight?
I had a good talk with her about it and I hope she understands that she doesn't have to end up in my shoes. I explained to her about why I want to loose the weight and about all the health problems that have been caused by my weight issues. She especially took note in the fact that I am on medication to regulate my blood pressure, which I wouldn't have to do if I lost more weight.
Hopefully my daughter will eat right, have loads of self esteem, be fit, be happy, and live a long wonderful life. I hope that if I continue on my path of self improvement, I will be able to sit along side her through her journey of self discovery and get to be myself, fit, happy, and to live a long wonderful life.
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